- The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate. - Leno

- America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. – Leno

- Have you heard about McDonald’s’ new Obama Value Meal?
Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. – O’Brien

- What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A fund raiser. – Leno

- What’s the difference between Obama’s cabinet and a penitentiary?
One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. – Letterman

- If Pelosi, Reid and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? America. – Fallon

- What was the most positive result of the “Cash for clunkers” program?
It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. - Letterman

- What’s the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
Bo has papers. – Kimmel