Perfect Retirement Plan
I have finally found the perfect
My friend and I were on a cruise through the
Western Mediterranean aboard a Princess Liner. At dinner we noticed an
elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the
main dining room. I also noticed that all the Staff, Ships Officers,
Waiters, Busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.
asked our Waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the
Line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last
four cruises, back to back.
As we left the dining room one evening
I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I
understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She
replied, "Yes, that's true."
I stated, "I don't understand" and
she replied, without a pause, "it's cheaper than a nursing home."
So, there will be no Nursing Home in my future. When I get old and
feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for
a Nursing Home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess
and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per
day. That leaves $65 a day for:
- Gratuities which will only be $10 per day, and the rest can be put
into the slot machines.
- I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast
in bed every day of the week).
- Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, and shows every night.
- They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
- They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient An extra $5
worth of tips and your casino winnings will have the entire staff
scrambling to help you.
- I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days.
- TV broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
- Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask
- If you fall in the Nursing Home and break a hip you are on Medicare;
if you fall and break a hip on the Princess Ship they will upgrade you
to a suite for the rest of your life.
- And when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.