These should make you laugh:

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call. 
I am making some changes in my life. 
Please leave a message after the 
Beep. If I do not return your call, 
You are one of the changes." 

Aspire to inspire before you expire. 

My wife and I had words, 
But I didn't get to use mine.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. 

Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting.

The irony of life is that, by the time 
You're old enough to know your way 
A round, you're not going anywhere. 

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think 
Of an answer for her first question. 

I was always taught to respect my elders, 
But it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn 
of a new error.

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, " Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us....go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us....pass this on.
~In God We Trust~