Daffynitions S-Z

When Frank Ball was a kid learning English, he wasn’t always clear on the meaning of words. In a business he noticed a sign Off-ice, and wondered if this place was warmer or colder than an ice house. His dad drove a Ply-mouth, and he wondered what eating had to do with automobiles. As an adult, he has learned to appreciate the application of words to unexpected meanings.

Here are his favorites:

Scholarship — A research vessel )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 4 May 2013)
Scotchgardฎ — Friend who watches your drink while you go to the bathroom — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 31 March 2012)
Secondhand Smoke — A Pawn shop on fire — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 31 May 2011)
Selfish — Mission statement of seafood stores )Frank Ball, 1 August 2013)
Shindig — An archaeologist’s search for leg bones — )Frank Ball, 18 October 2010)
Shindig — A wife’s hidden kick beneath the table — )Frank Ball, 1 February 2013)
Sink Hole — Where the plumber fastens the drain pipe )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 10 August 2013)
Smallpox — Little open areas in Boston — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 14 May 2012)
Sorghum — A dental hygienist’s legacy — )Frank Ball, 9 October 2010)
Spin Doctor — Any physician who specializes in vertigo )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 31 August 2013)
Spiral — A blown spy cover gone viral )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 11 January 2014)
Squatter’s Rights — When everyone is entitled to own an outhouse — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 3 March 2012)
State of Denial — Political union of what was formerly the kingdom of the pharaoh — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 17 May 2011)
Status Quo — Latin for “the mess we’re in” — )Jeff MacNelly, 27 Years of Shoe (Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2004, 51))
Stereotyped — A report handed in by Siamese twins — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 7 August 2010)
Stiff Breeze — Draft in a funeral parlor — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 2 June 2012)
Sudafed — Legal action taken against a US government official )Frank Ball, 1 July 2013)
Superfluous — The best of viruses that plague us )Frank Ball, 1 September 2013)
Superimpose — When an acquaintance asks to borrow your truck, then expects you to help him pack up and move — )Frank Ball, 2 March 2013)
Surreptitiously — How maple trees add sweetness to pancakes — )Frank and Ernest by Bob Thaves, 24 April 2010)
Syntax — Consequence for not obeying God — )Frank Ball, 13 November 2012)
Taxidermist — The skin of a cab driver — )Herbert V. Prochnow & Herbert V. Prochnow Jr, 5100 Quotations for Speakers & Writers (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House, 1992), 183.)
Tech Support — A cyborg’s undergarment — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 19 April 2011)
Terminology — The study of wood-eating insects — )Frank Ball, 15 June 2011)
Termite — One who favors term limits for politicians — )Shoe by Chris Cassatt & Gary Brookins, 29 November 2012)
Testicle — An enclosure for answering questions on an exam — )Frank Ball, 5 April 2013)
Timeshare — Five kids competing for their parents’ attention — )B.C. by Johnny Hart, 8 September 2012)
Toupee — An assumed mane — )Frank and Ernest, 15 March 2011)
Toxic Dump Site — Baby changing station — )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 23 February 2013)
Trailblazer — Formal junglewear )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 30 April 2013)
Trigonometry — A weapon of math destruction — )Jeff MacNelly, 27 Years of Shoe (Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2004, 114))
Understanding — What Australians have when they get up from the table — )Frank Ball, 28 January 2013)
Varicose — Close by — )Cartoon circulating on the Internet)
Ventriloquist — Silent partner — )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 15 December 2012)
Voucher — Someone cited as a work reference )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 7 September 2013)
Waffle Iron — Indecisive golf club )B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 21 December 2013)