Daffynitions O-R

When Frank Ball was a kid learning English, he wasn’t always clear on the meaning of words. In a business he noticed a sign Off-ice, and wondered if this place was warmer or colder than an ice house. His dad drove a Ply-mouth, and he wondered what eating had to do with automobiles. As an adult, he has learned to appreciate the application of words to unexpected meanings.

Here are his favorites:

Ontological — Sensible footwear — (Frank Ball, 29 March 2012)
Ordeal — Sales special on boating supplies (Frank Ball, 1 September 2013)
Oxymoron — A really stupid ox — (Shoe by Chris Cassatt & Gary Brookins, 21 September 2012)
Pandemonium — A bear’s race to eat bamboo shoots — (Frank Ball, 18 November 2010)
Paradox — What it takes to lift a patient from a stretcher (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 17 August 2013)
Paranormal Activity — What couples usually do together (Frank Ball, 1 September 2013)
Parasites — Important stops when touring France (Frank Ball, 1 August 2013)
Parking — Guy with a perfect round of golf — (Frank Ball, 11 February 2013)
Pasteurization – When the cows are left free to graze — (Frank Ball, 20 March 2012)
Pasteurized — Ordained to be a minister — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 27 August 2011)
Pay as You Go — A coin-operated toilet — (Jeff MacNelly, 27 Years of Shoe (Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2004, 166))
Peanut — An overzealous urologist — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 7 March 2010)
Peanut — A fanatical bean farmer — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 15 June 2010)
Pen Pal — Someone you liked while in the slammer (Frank Ball, 15 May 2013)
Perfect Pitch — Bestselling roofing tar — (B.C. by John L. Hart FLP, 14 June 2011)
Periodic Table — Large dining area used during Thanksgiving and Christmas (Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich, 25 May 2011)
Pesto — An annoying Italian guy — (Frank & Ernest by Thaves, 27 December 2012)
Phlegmatic — An automatic nose blower — (Jeff MacNelly, 27 Years of Shoe (Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2004, 118))
Pillory — A place that fills prescriptions — (Shoe by Chris Cassatt & Gary Brookins, 15 October 2010)
Pokemon — Jamaican gumby’s best friend (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 1 February 2014)
Polarization — Territory of arctic bears — (Frank Ball, 25 Novembers 2011)
Polarize — How arctic bears see where they are going — (Frank Ball, 12 April 2013)
Political Correctness — Doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end — (Believed to be from Texas A&M University’s winner of definition award.)
Politically Correct — Always having to say you’re sorry, even when you know you’re not — (Shoe by Chris Cassatt & Gary Brookins, 18 December 2012)
Politics — Fleas with agendas — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 29 September 2012)
Polygon — A dead parrot — (Herbert V. Prochnow & Herbert V. Prochnow Jr, 5100 Quotations for Speakers & Writers (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House, 1992), 163.) When your parrot flies the coop. — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 14 January 2011)
Poop Deck — The kennel floor — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 24 April 2010)
Prepare — Blossom on a fruit tree (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 15 June 2013)
Pressure Wash — Cleaning the house before your mother-in-law visits — (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 2 March 2013)
Prime Time — How Optimus addresses the crowd before the dance-off — (B.C. by Mastroianni & Hart, 12 March 2013)
Program — Official stance of the national lobby for the metric system — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 24 April 2010)
Promising Career — The work of politicians — (Frank Ball, 20 July 2012)
Rank and File — A manicurist with body odor — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 10 March 2012)
Rebate — Put another worm on the hook — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 27 March 2010)
Reboot — A second kick in the seat of the pants — (Frank Ball, 15 January 2013)
Recorder — Opposite of “wreak havoc” — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 29 October 2011)
Rectitude — The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists — (Believed to be from a Washington Post contest)
Redundancy — An airbag in a politician’s car (Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly, 28 May 2013)
Relief — How trees signal the beginning of spring (Frank Ball, 1 August 2013)
Repair — Matching one sock with another — (Frank Ball, 17 May 2012)
Repressing — What I do to my pants after a long bus ride — (Frank and Ernest by Bob Thaves, 3 March 2010)
Retail Price — The cost to repair the back of the plane (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 27 July 2013)
Rhodesia — When you can’t remember what road you’re on or why — (Jeff MacNelly, 27 Years of Shoe (Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2004, 171))
Riptide — Detergent specially formulated for torn jeans — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 25 September 2010)
Rock Music — The sound workers make in a quarry — (Frank Ball, 6 February 2013)
Rocking Chair — Seating for listening to 1950s music — (Frank Ball, 9 October 2010)
Roller Derby — Competition for the fastest house painter — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 5 July 2011)
Rubberneck — How a man helps his girl relax — (Frank Ball, 12 April 2013)