Daffynitions H-N

When Frank Ball was a kid learning English, he wasn’t always clear on the meaning of words. In a business he noticed a sign Off-ice, and wondered if this place was warmer or colder than an ice house. His dad drove a Ply-mouth, and he wondered what eating had to do with automobiles. As an adult, he has learned to appreciate the application of words to unexpected meanings.

Here are his favorites:

Happy Medium — A cordial psychic — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 28 August 2010]
Harry Potter — Unshaven ceramic artist — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 10 November 2012]
Hebrew — A masculine beverage (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 9 November 2013]
Heirloom — Equipment of a fourth-generation weaver (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 5 October 2013]
Heroes — What a guy does when his motorboat conks out (Frank Ball, 1 July 2013]
Hijack — The card that gets you two points in a game of cribbage — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 2 July 2011)
Hip Replacement — Canning the accordion player in favor of a jazz pianist — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 17 January 2009]
Holiness — A characteristic of sponges and spider webs — (Frank Ball, 9 May 2013]
Holy Roller — Bagel maker — (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 19 January 2013]
Hospital Gown — Formalwear for nurses — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 22 January 2011]
Illegal — Sad news flash from the aviary — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 9 January 2009]
Illiterate — Someone who’s sick of reading — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 25 February 2012]
Impeccable — Chicken proof (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 13 July 2013]
Incarnation – Living in a country where driving trucks is culturally unacceptable (Frank Ball, 15 May 2013]
Indian Summer — Tech report season — (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 16 March 2013]
Intent — Where campers sleep — (Frank Ball, 27 January 2013]
Jackpot — What Jack claims is strictly for medicinal purposes — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 18 August 2012]
Lapsing — What happens when a child in Mom’s lap hears a lullaby — (Frank Ball, 21 July 2011]
Last Will and Testament — Dead giveaway — (Shoe by Chris Cassatt & Gary Brookins, 22 February 2012]
Late Bloomers —Back-ordered undergarments — (Frank and Ernest, 24 January 2011]
Laughing Gas — What might be worth fracking for — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 3 November 2012]
Lemonade — Citrus orchard caretaker (Frank Ball, 1 August 2013]
Liability — The measure of how good a liar a person is — (Born Loser by Art Sansom, 4 April 2013]
Lip Service — Regular Botox injections — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 6 October 2012]
Light Year — A twelve-month period when one’s diet actually worked — (Frank Ball, 12 April 2013]
Listless — The way most guys go grocery shopping — (Shoe by Chris Cassatt & Gary Brookins, 21 June 2010]
Loan Sharks — A visiting exhibit at the aquarium — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 24 March 2012]
Logarithm — What a composer does with the percussion parts — (Frank Ball, 11 April 2012]
Loose Ends — Free agent football players — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 11 February 2012]
Lymph — To walk with a lisp — (Believed to be from a Washington Post contest]
Macro Economics — Required class prior to interning at Kraft — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 13 October 2012]
Mandate — Two guys watching sports — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 21 April 2012]
Mandatory Retirement — When Mom and Dad won’t let kids stay up at night — (Frank Ball, 1 February 2013]
Mayhem — The monthly chaos that precedes Junehem — (Lola by Todd Clark, 12 April 2011]
Mayhem — A dress cut that will only be in style till June first — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 10 May 2011]
Memory Block — A stroll around the old neighborhood (B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart, 23 April 2013]
Metronome — A city dwarf — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 15 February 2011]
Microsoft — Mini marshmallow — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 19 May 2012]
Milk Duds — Uncooperative dairy cows (Frank Ball, 15 October 2013]
Minimum — Small British woman — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 19 October 2011]
Monkey — How you unlock a monastery — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 3 September 2011]
Mononucleosis — A disease half as bad as stereo nucleosis — (Shoe by Chris Cassatt & Gary Brookins, 27 April 2010]
Monroe Doctrine — Gentlemen prefer blondes (Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly, 11 October 2013]
Moraine — Amazonian weather update — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 27 February 2010]
Multitasking — Messing up several things at once — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 9 October 2010]
Negligent — Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing a nightgown — (Believed to be from a Washington Post contest]
Nitrate — Much cheaper than a day rate — (Cartoon circulating on the Internet]
No Outlet — Warning sign for the absence of any electrical socket (Frank Ball, 15 October 2013]
Nonagenarian — When no one can remember how old you are — (B.C. by Johnny Hart, 19 February 2011]