Bubba


There was a man named Bubba, and Bubba knew EVERYONE in the whole world!

Once when Bubba got a new job, Bubba says to his new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!" His boss doesn't believe him, so he says "No you do not know everyone in the whole world" but Bubba says "Yes I do!" so Bubba's boss says "Well prove it!" then Bubba says "Pick someone... and I know them!"

Well Bubba's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!" Bubba says "Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!" but Bubba's boss says "No you weren't!" then Bubba says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Hollywood and drive up to Tom Selleck's house. Bubba knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and Bubba goes "Tom!!!" and Tom goes "Bubba!" and they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss can't believe it.

But then he thinks "Well that could happen, it's just one person," so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick somebody else!" This time Bubba's boss has someone in mind! "The president, George Bush! You don't know President George Bush!" but Bubba says "Oh yes I do! George and I were on the debate team together in college!" Bubba's boss says "No you weren't!" and Bubba says "Yes we were!"

So they fly to Washington and they catch-up with the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Bubba gets close enough to catch Bush's eye and waves "George!" and the President waves "Bubba!" and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Bubba's boss is stunned -- he can't believe it.

But then he thinks "Well that's just two people in one country that doesn't mean he knows everyone in the whole world!" so he tells Bubba and Bubba says "OK, pick someone out of the USA spectrum and I know them!" And Bubba's boss knows just who to pick, so he says "The Pope! You do not know the Pope!"

Bubba says "The Pope? The Pope BAPTISED me!" and Bubba's boss says "No he didn't!" and Bubba says "Yes he did!" so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of people. They try working their way through the crowd -- without much luck. So, Bubba says "Boss, were never gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you what -- I'll work my way up to where the Pope is, and when I do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the Pope!" and he leaves.

Well, Bubba's boss waits and waits and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and right there beside him is Bubba! Shortly afterwards, Bubba's boss passes out.

Bubba comes back and finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake up!" When his boss comes to, he asks: "Boss, what happened?"

Bubba's boss looks at Bubba and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see George Bush... heck, I can even believe the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks 'Who's that up there on the balcony with Bubba?' -- that's more than I can take!"