While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.
Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.
Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff 's Office, and the National Homeland Security Director.
It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.