I'M ON ANOTHER DIET
 
I WAS IN WAL-MART BUYING A LARGE BAG OF PURINA FOR JOE & WAS IN LINE TO CHECK OUT.  A WOMAN BEHIND ME ASKED IF I HAD A DOG...DUH!  I WAS FEELING A BIT CRABBY SO ON IMPULSE, I TOLD HER NO, I WAS STARTING THE PURINA DIET AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BECAUSE I'D ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL LAST TIME, BUT THAT I'D LOST 50 LBS. BEFORE I AWAKENED IN AN ICU W/TUBES COMING OUT OF ME & IV'S IN BOTH ARMS.
 
HER EYES ABOUT BUGGED OUT OF HER HEAD.  I WENT ON & ON W/THE BOGUS DIET STORY & SHE WAS TOTALLY BUYING IT.  I TOLD HER THAT IT WAS AN EASY, INEXPENSIVE DIET & THAT THE WAY IT WORKS IS TO LOAD YOUR POCKETS OR PURSE W/PURINA NUGGETS & SIMPLY EAT 1 OR 2 EVERY TIME YOU FEEL HUNGRY.  THE PACKAGE SAID THE FOOD IS NUTRITIONALLY COMPLETE SO I WAS GOING TO TRY IT AGAIN.  I HAVE TO MENTION HERE THAT PRACTICALLY EVERYONE IN THE LINE WAS BY NOW ENTHRALLED W/MY STORY, PARTICULARLY A TALL GUY BEHIND HER.
 
HORRIFIED, SHE ASKED IF SOMETHING IN THE DOG FOOD HAD POISONED ME & WAS THAT WHY I ENDED UP IN THE HOSPITAL?  I SAID NO...I'D BEEN SITTING IN THE STREET SCRATCHING FOR FLEAS & CLEANING MYSELF WHEN A CAR HIT ME.
 
I THOUGHT THE TALL GUY WAS GOING TO HAVE TO BE CARRIED OUT THE DOOR HE WAS LAUGHING SO HARD.
 
 SMILE! :-)
 
Lord, give me a sense of humor, 
Give me the grace to see a joke,
to get some humor out of life,
and diminish results of strife.
Amen.



back to Menu