You May Be a Redneck Wheelchair User if ...
- Any part of your chair is painted camo.
- You have a wheelchair up on blocks in your front yard.
- You use deck plating, steel mesh, or motorcycle parts as decoration.
- You rigged up a beer cooler powered off your chair batteries. Double
points if you don't care that it sucks your batteries dry so long as the
beer stays cold.
- You wear cowboy, biker, or work boots , even though they are a bitch
to put on and you can't walk anyway.
- You adjusted your headrest so it'll stop knocking off your hat.
- You installed a gun rack on back.
- Your joystick is a billiard ball, car stick shift knob, beer tap, or
- You ever thought about jacking your chair up 2 or 3 feet.
- You have huge knobby mud tires installed.
- You installed a sound system so your chair will sound like a truck
- You installed a whip antenna just so you could fly the stars and
- There is a 'Harley' decal or emblem permanently attached to your
- You installed a CB behind or under your chair.
- You replaced your seat with a BarcoLounger.
- You found the above BarcoLounger at the side of the road.
- You named your chair 'Bubba', 'Junior', 'Daisy', or 'Killer'.
- There is some part of a deer decorating any part of your chair.
- You have ever thought about smuggling moonshine in the tubing or
battery compartment of the chair.
- You, while in your chair, ever made any roadkill.
- The accessories hangin' on the chair weigh more than the chair does.
- You browse truck catalogs looking for ways to soup up your chair.
- You want to add a side-car or a 'sweet little trailer'.
- You wear a 4 pound belt buckle that cuts into your stomach as you
- The fringe of your jacket or strings of your bolo tie have ever got
caught in your wheels - but you wear it anyway.
- You regularly call up Harley Davidson and ask when they are going to
start making wheelchairs.
- You have spent more than an hour trying to figure out how to hang
fuzzy dice from your chair.
- You have transported livestock in your chair. Bonus points if the
livestock was bigger or heavier than you!
- You thought about, even for a second, trying to outrun a highway
patrol cruiser while in your chair.
- Duct tape plays a major role in your repair and maintenance plan.
- You really don't need a wheelchair in the first place, but you
thought it might help pick up chicks.
- You read this list and found yourself thinking, at any point, "now
that's a good idea!"