Grumpy Old Pals
Brad and Mike are two old
retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare
checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism
rather than real friendship or personal affection. One day, as he drinks
his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and turns to the
He gets the shock of his life when he sees his
own obituary in the column. He realizes that the query for info on him by
the local newspaper several months earlier, was in preparation for this
event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their
It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Brad up.
"Brad, are you up yet?" asks Mike.
Brad sleepily answers, "Yeah,
but I'm only now starting my coffee."
"Brad. open the newspaper to
"Why, what's in the paper?"
"Brad, get the paper
and open it to page 31 NOW!"
"Ok, Ok, I've got the paper here, so
what's in page 31?"
"Brad, open the paper to page 31 already!"
"All right, don't be such a pain so early in the morning already.
So, what's on page 31 that's so important?"
"Brad, look at the
bottom of column 4."
"Why? What's that story on?"
read the story on the bottom of the column already!"
"OK, OK, I'll
start reading the column if you stop yelling in my ear!" The paper rustles
for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues.
comes on the line quietly and fearfully asks, "So Mike, where are you
calling me from right now?"