Ten Things You Never Hear in Church

       1. Hey! Itís my turn to sit in the front pew.

       2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

       3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

       4. Iíve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

       5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

       6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, letís pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

       7. I love it when we sing hymns Iíve never heard before!

       8. Since weíre all here, letís start the service early.

       9. Pastor, weíd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

     10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

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