Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening Massage - 6 PM

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

The fasting and prayer conference includes meals.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

For those of you have have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The sermon this morning "Jesus walking on the water". The sermon tonight will be "Searching for Jesus".

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.

Next Friday will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

The peace making meeting scheduled for today has be caneled due to a conflict.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

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